I love music. I love what it makes me feel. I love how I feel. I think it is a way for me to get lost, without having somewhere to go. I give control to the song, to the lyrics. I am at the mercy of the artist. I am at the mercy of their story. It is easier to live someone else’s life than my own. I have to be responsible for … Continue reading Random Fear
I have always said I am an addict, or more accurately I have an addictive personality. What does that really mean? Why do I insist on believing this untruth? I am nothing I do not want to be. Why do I live in the things I do not want to live in? I am the master of my world. I am the master of my universe. I am, I am, I am… … Continue reading Open, Empty, GO!
Sometimes my mind just runs away and leaves me in the dust. I cannot always put my thoughts on paper. I have a hard time knowing when to stop, when I do not know I have started. Music allows me to feel. Music allows me to speak. I cannot carry a tune to save my life, but that does not stop me from bellowing out at the top of my … Continue reading Runaway Mind
Adulthood can be so overwhelming at times… I am sorry, but I have to take a side step, if we have had the blessing of sharing a face-to-face conversation, or maybe a technology facilitated one by either text or call. You will know I like making up words. For example as I let the word “Adulthood” bounce around my head, it seems a bit more encompassing than … Continue reading Adulthood
A friend and I once discussed “Drinking the Red Kool-Aid”. I was reflecting on how I do not just go along with things because someone says it is what should be done. I was commenting on how most people are told by someone they respect, a parent, a spiritual leader, or a political leader for example, and they agree and drink the proverbial Red Kool-Aid. Where I always … Continue reading Red Kool-Aid
How long would it take to feel alone in a room full of people you love and care for? Who also love and care for you, but cannot understand you. Continue reading Sister of Pain
I have reached a crossroads of sorts in my emotional life. Or more accurately I have changed paths at the latest crossroads. As of late I find myself being happy with who I am. It had been a while since I felt true happiness. What I mean, is that I believe there are two types of happiness. The superficial, or maybe it is not superficial, … Continue reading Creative Happiness
In K-Pop when an artist releases new music, they are said to have a “comeback”. I have been absent here for a minute or 4 years (but who is counting), that makes this post my “comeback “. I am a fan of a handful of K-Pop artists and groups that I stumbled upon in my adventures in escapism. About 3 years ago, I was binge … Continue reading K-Pop In My Pocket
I escape. Escapism is my best friend. The media of choice changes, but the desired effect and end result is always the same. Sudden change, well if I am being honest… any change to a degree, is difficult for me. The negative effect of change afflicts me at the deepest level of who I am. I imagine it was a childhood trauma, probably around 2 … Continue reading Escape
I woke up stuck for the third day in a row, or the fifth or is it the sixth? I have been stuck in writing, stuck in things of life, stuck in thought patterns, just STUCK. Reading is my mode of escapism I use to tolerate the “stuck days” but even that has been failing me because I have been so ADD. Not being able to … Continue reading Sixx, Is This Gonna Hurt?
Jack sings his song; his words resonate in me. He says my love is soft, kind, and blind. He says my love is wasted. He says someday I will see. I look back now, and see my disaster. He says I can choose to learn. I choose to realize my love was wasted on you. Your confession carved flesh and bone until it found my … Continue reading “Wasted” Love
Gray morning shields the summer sun, no songbirds heard. Commitments exist. Continue reading Gray
I have done my best to avoid media coverage regarding Donald Trump’s comments about Mexican immigrants. As a Mexican born American, I knew that it would take .006 seconds for me to be fired up, or at minimum annoyed about his ignorance. I want to note that I did not say illegal immigrants, because Mr. Trump’s comment was “When Mexico sends its people…” I took … Continue reading Mr. Trump You Are a Buffoon!
I was typing in a chat window the other day, when I noticed that for every single chat entry from the other person, I had two or three entries, and this made me ponder why that might be. One reason is that sometimes people I am chatting with are using smart phones (the power of social media). However, for the most part it is because … Continue reading Type, Type, Type!
I unintentionally made an “affirmation scroll” today. It started as a treatment (prayer), but as I poured my thoughts and feelings onto the paper, it kept getting longer and longer. When my heart and soul agreed on a stopping point, I assessed the final product, and had two pages of tightly squeezed words. This time I elected to use graph paper instead of lined paper, … Continue reading “I Just Called to Say I Love You”
Soft ocean breeze sings ballads sweetly on wind chimes. Thoughts quietly lost. Continue reading Thoughts
“I sat by the ocean, and drank a potion, baby to erase you…” The song started all well and good, until I remember why I had removed it from my playlist. My mind took a bullet train back to the moment I realized that I was not having a nightmare, rather I was awake and dismayed by the reality I called my life. How did … Continue reading “I Sat by the Ocean”
It has been five years since I was part of the Machine that makes the world go round. I have to re-enter the workforce and have been trying for a while with little success. I have taken a step back and looked at this from a metaphysical perspective and believe that this has been due to my indecision. I have not been able to define … Continue reading “Five Years Dead”
Sorry folks, I do not have the answer, but if someone finds the answer, please let me know! When I was a little girl, I dreamt of a fairy tale wedding. As life progressed, I saw adults around me be miserable in their marriages, I started to think that maybe marriage was not as pretty as the TV and movies made it seem. I did … Continue reading “How Can You Mend a Broken Heart”
The Christ I knew as a child is not the Christ I know now. I did not have the fortune of learning of Jesus of Nazareth; instead, I studied about Jesus Christ the Savior. Jesus Christ the Savior who would be killed because of MY sin filled soul! I would have much rather been introduced to Jesus of Nazareth first. I could have related to … Continue reading “Church of the Poison Mind”
That was my perception of myself for years. The fact that I am short has not changed, as time passes and my mortal body reaches the point that it has served its purpose in this realm, I get shorter, and it is just a fact. Simple, well that is a perception not a fact. A false perception I held onto very tightly for years. Because … Continue reading Short and simple…
Communicate clear intentions; be well defined about what you want. Most importantly, be willing and prepared to accept what needs to occur in order for you to have what you asked for. Early this year I sent out a request to God (Uni) titled “Kickstart My Life” (Yes, it is a Crue reference!). What came next was a whole lot of nothing. There was no … Continue reading Be mindful of what you ask from Life
It goes by different names. It is called domestic abuse. It is called bullying. It is called battering. It is the repeated or habitual violence by one individual towards another individual. It is WRONG! It is a subject that many people choose to not acknowledge, less talk about. It is condoned or viewed as acceptable or justified due to the victim’s actions or behaviors. For … Continue reading It is ugly. It is appalling. It is heartbreaking.
Shhh... my Soul is talking, listen. 