thoughts
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It’s late. I take a deep breath. In this quiet moment I let the tears flow. I prefer to cry alone. I’m authentic in this moment. The fear is real. The moment is surreal. I feel gratitude for the moments I have left. “One breath at a time” I say when it’s just
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I know the term low grade fever is used when describing someone having a fever that is not dangerous. I feel like these last few months I have had a low-grade depression, because I am functional, I go to work, I make an effort to be sociable for the most part. But the solitude that
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I have started and erased a few rants this month. I have considered adding a new category to my site called “Uncensored and Unfiltered”
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If you are fortunate enough to live where nature reminds you of the changing seasons, you will likely see the leaves on the trees transforming into a beautiful array of oranges, yellows, and reds right about now. I miss that now that I do not live in the Pacific Northwest. Don’t get me wrong, I
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I love music. I love what it makes me feel. I love how I feel. I think it is a way for me to get lost, without having somewhere to go. I give control to the song, to the lyrics. I am at the mercy of the artist. I am at the mercy of their story. It is easier to live someone
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I have always said I am an addict, or more accurately I have an addictive personality. What does that really mean? Why do I insist on believing this untruth? I am nothing I do not want to be. Why do I live in the things I do not want to live in? I am the master of my world. I am
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A friend and I once discussed “Drinking the Red Kool-Aid”. I was reflecting on how I do not just go along with things because someone says it is what should be done. I was commenting on how most people are told by someone they respect, a parent, a spiritual leader, or a political leader for example, and
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How long would it take to feel alone in a room full of people you love and care for? Who also love and care for you, but cannot understand you.
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I have reached a crossroads of sorts in my emotional life. Or more accurately I have changed paths at the latest crossroads. As of late I find myself being happy with who I am. It had been a while since I felt true happiness. What I mean, is that I believe there are two types
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In K-Pop when an artist releases new music, they are said to have a “comeback”. I have been absent here for a minute or 4 years (but who is counting), that makes this post my “comeback “. I am a fan of a handful of K-Pop artists and groups that I stumbled upon in my
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I escape. Escapism is my best friend. The media of choice changes, but the desired effect and end result is always the same. Sudden change, well if I am being honest… any change to a degree, is difficult for me. The negative effect of change afflicts me at the deepest level of who I am.
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I woke up stuck for the third day in a row, or the fifth or is it the sixth? I have been stuck in writing, stuck in things of life, stuck in thought patterns, just STUCK. Reading is my mode of escapism I use to tolerate the “stuck days” but even that has been failing me
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I unintentionally made an “affirmation scroll” today. It started as a treatment (prayer), but as I poured my thoughts and feelings onto the paper, it kept getting longer and longer. When my heart and soul agreed on a stopping point, I assessed the final product, and had two pages of tightly squeezed words. This time
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It has been five years since I was part of the Machine that makes the world go round. I have to re-enter the workforce and have been trying for a while with little success. I have taken a step back and looked at this from a metaphysical perspective and believe that this has been due
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The Christ I knew as a child is not the Christ I know now. I did not have the fortune of learning of Jesus of Nazareth; instead, I studied about Jesus Christ the Savior. Jesus Christ the Savior who would be killed because of MY sin filled soul! I would have much rather been introduced
Shhh... my Soul is talking, listen. 