Shhh… my Soul is talking, listen.

A valuable piece of knowledge I obtained from my many years of therapy is that I have invisible threads that are tethered to my past hurts.  A slight or hurt I experienced in the present is potentially tethered to an emotional hurt in my past.  This can manifest in irrational or overreaction to things that are occurring at the moment.  The skill part of this comes when one learns to snip the thread.  Meaning, I learn to recognize the trigger and apply the needed “pause” to reflect on the reactions.  Well, let me be honest, that is my endeavor, I may not always be successful, but the goal is set, and I aim to do it in that manner.

I can usually recognize my overreaction when people; whom I trust will be honest with me; point out a different perspective to the perceived hurt or slight and my mind desperately fights to be open to their view of the situation.  My reaction tells me I am overly emotionally invested in my singular point of view.  When I ask myself the “why” question, I more often than not, find the string to a past hurt or a refection or a slight, where healing and/or growing is available.  That is where I can choose to deal healthily and constructively with the old pain [or not, it is all a choice].

What does this have to do with betrayal?  Well, an author whom I value their skill and insight recently posted about betrayal trauma, as I read the post, my mind instantly related to his words.  I exhibit the signs, and I was open to the idea that just as I have emotional strings to the past pain, I must also have betrayal strings to past disloyalties.   As the author pointed out if the other person has not done anything to break my trust, why do I not trust them?  He stated that it is as if I assume they are like me.  That would mean I am not trustworthy, however, I know this not to be the truth of who I am.  I believe the more likely conclusion is that I must have betrayal trauma.  Out of those two scenarios, I relate to the latter, additionally, I can recognize instances in my life when I felt a deep sense of betrayal, which I know I have neither faced nor healed. As I open my heart again to Love and relationships I realize I need to face these traumas if I plan to have success in my future endeavors.

I start each day to be the best version of myself I am capable of being.  I achieve this is by recognizing where I can grow and make a sincere effort in correcting behaviors that inhibit me from being the best version of myself.  I am confident I will touch on the topic of “Betrayal Trauma” in the future as I encounter instances that allow me to grow, or as I fail to grow, because both are possibilities, depending on how I handle the situation.

So my parting thought is, are there moments of your past that you did not realize were more significant in forming who you are, and how you react in the present moment?  If so, have you faced them, or have you been like me and put it on the back burner?  It is 2021, you are alive and thriving in a middle of a worldwide pandemic, so many have not made it and so many will not make it to the other side of this.  What are you waiting for?  Let us grow together.

Knowing love and healing for all.
-Laura