Shhh… my Soul is talking, listen.

It goes by different names.  It is called domestic abuse.  It is called bullying.  It is called battering.  It is the repeated or habitual violence by one individual towards another individual.  It is WRONG!  It is a subject that many people choose to not acknowledge, less talk about.  It is condoned or viewed as acceptable or justified due to the victim’s actions or behaviors.  For some it is too uncomfortable or painful to talk about.  No matter the excuse it is still wrong.

Understand, that I am not standing in judgment of the willful ignorance of people, or the victims who believe that things will change without creating change themselves.  However, I cannot say with any honesty that I am not standing in judgment of the perpetrator, the abuser, or (in my opinion) the coward, because I do stand in judgment.  I struggle to find peace within myself, so that I can look at such an individual with understanding, compassion and forgiveness.  I live in the knowing that anything that is possible for anyone is possible for me, and I know it IS possible to not stand in judgment and to forgive such an individual, because others have done it.

The author and guest speaker at the 2014 Peace Gala, Azim Khamisa has written several books on how to find peace when we are directly or indirectly victims of violence.  He made that journey of forgiveness and found peace after the murder of his only son.  I attended the Peace Gala and spent most of that night fighting back tears, from both hearing his story first hand, and for other reasons I will share on another day.  My point about bringing up Mr. Khamisa is that he attained peace and does not stand in judgment of the murder.  So, if it is possible for him, it is possible for me.

Life is so complicated with its nuances, complexities and circumstances.  Relationships are so delicate for the exact same things.  Even with this understanding and acceptance of it as truth, there is absolutely no tolerable reason for one individual to habitually attack and violate another individual.  Why is this topic on my mind today?  Many of you know I love football, and those of you who share this love of football, know where I am going with this.

A security video from an elevator surfaced today of Baltimore Ravens running back Ray Rice punching his then-fiancé.  Yes you read that right; he PUNCHED and knocked her unconscious.  An NFL player, who by choice of profession is a role model to thousands of children, and is paid to workout regularly to be in top physical shape, punched his wife.  As if the actions themselves were not disturbing enough, he had already been to court for the assault and received a slap on the hand.  Yes, I am interpreting a two game suspension and anger management classes a “slap on the hand”.

Who is to blame for such barefaced disrespect for such atrocious acts?  I would first remove the word blame.  I would change it to, who is responsible for such barefaced disrespect for the abuse of an individual?  I believe the responsible person or people should all line up in front of Ray Rice and have him act out the exact violation on them as he did on his wife.  Yes, they should line up and have Mr. Rice PUNCH them in the face.  You might think I am promoting violence as the solution, but that is not the case.  I am saying that in order for the individuals; who “looked the other way” after watching the video; to understand the brutality of the disregard of the abuse of Mrs. Rice, they need to experience her pain first hand.

I am willing to bet that if this had been acted out prior to the “slap on the hand”, Mr. Rice would not have returned to the NFL, and maybe even served time for his heinous actions.  There might have been individuals who would be moved to start an NFL backed program that promotes awareness and intolerance for domestic abuse, treatment for the abusers and support for the victims, in an effort to break the cycle of abuse and discourage others from “looking away”.

Just sayin’

~Laura